Attention Internet Users: The Web Is Almost Full!!

by Tracey on July 19, 2009

Me again tapping out more words of waffling wisdom on this beautiful sunny morning sitting here in my trackies sipping green tea (like you needed to know all that)…

Anyways… I wanted to share with you something that happened the other day and that seems to happen to me quite often. What happened was a man I respect and trust told me a big fat lie. I was hanging on his every word – one pen away from taking notes – when he did it.

We were talking about the internet, a subject which he knows a fair bit about, so I take him very seriously (because I am a geek and I love the internet in a very sincere and reverential way).

I was trying to think up a name for my new website. We were deep in conversation. This man (who will remain nameless – you know who you are Stephan Stavrakis you evil, evil man) turns and says to me:

‘Well, you’d better get yourself a domain name quickly, I hear they’re running low.’

And what does yours truly reply: ‘OMG! Really?’ before going into a state of mild panic, hastily yanking the thesaurus down from the bookshelf and madly flicking through it for ideas. It was truly awful.

I know what you’re thinking: As if every single domain name in the whole world could be taken. It was obviously bollocks. My excuse is that I’m open-minded and I don’t automatically think ‘what’s the chances’ when someone tells me something, so I thought: ‘Well, there’s a lot of websites out there…’

No blonde hairs on this head but I will admit to having a long-term case of gullibilitis (meaning I am extremely gullible) of which there is no cure. I will believe anything. Just ask my friends and family. Believe me, they take full advantage of it by telling me whopping great fibs all the time. They’re not very nice people.

It’s not all bad though. The great thing about having gullibilitis is that I totally enjoy stories. I don’t need a lot of convincing that dragons talk and children rule worlds. The bad thing is that people with not so great intentions try and take advantage of me. But never fear; I have a weapon against evil and it’s called the Intuitor.

The Intuitor is a bit like a lightsaber except it’s got more sparkles and makes a ‘weeeeee!’ sound when I swish it in figure eights, which is the best way to ward off malice. So fortunately I’m protected.

The Intuitor works by sensing bullshit through a high-tech gadget thingie in the handle and sending a signal to my brain under the disguise of a very faint sixth sense that tells me something isn’t quite right.

It’s hit and miss and it only usually works on villains (rarely on people I trust – which is a bummer). I think the inventor ran out of money before it was fully developed. Either that or I should pull out the instruction manual and see if there’s a button I should be pushing.

So I’m wondering if it’s just me that suffers from gullibilitis. Seriously, do you believe the crap your so-called loved ones tell you because you love and trust them? Do you have an Intuitor to ward off villains? If you do, maybe we can start a support group together.

Hey, we could meet once a month and have a newsletter! We could even get a website. But we’d better hurry. Apparently there’s a shortage of domain names, or so I hear… Speaking of which, I’d better go grab one before they’re gone. Catcha!

Tracey :)

P.S. Oh, by the way, I was going to talk about trust, but I waffled on a bit instead (did you notice?) Sorry about that. So stay tuned for a d&m about Joe, Jane and a deity you may or may not have heard of called God.

P.P.S. Hey, can you tweet this for me so I know the button works? You know what I’m like with this left-brain stuff. Think of it as a favour to me for providing you with all these highly use(less)ful blog posts out of the kindness of my heart because I am truly awesome and kindness oozes out of my every pore and you love me so much… Geez,I waffle on about crap, don’t I?

Stay happy, beautiful reader!

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